longong for belonging
by Nonny21
Summary: A one shot: Jack has been torturing him self for as long as he can remember for a mistake he made long ago.  Can he make it right this Christmas?


The dimly lit tavern was like so many others that lined the grimy streets of Tortuga, with one exception…her. Jack had sat there all night waiting to talk to her, but she wouldn't give him the light of day. Not that he deserved it. So he sat alone at his table nursing a bottle of rum and bruised pride. In the corner was a gaily decorated tree, a Christmas tree of all things; in a bar.

"gives the place a bit of cheer don't it?" a wench cooed. She leaned over the table, her low cut dress exposing what was probably her finest point. Jack didn't answer. He didn't care for a conversation at this point. "was her idea it was. The girl you've been watching all night." the woman went on. Not at all put off by his lack of interest in her. "if I were you I'd best be paying her no mind. That one don't go in for your lot."

He smirked and sipped his rum. By the looks of this woman she had seen quit a bit of his lot, and they had taken all her best years. Well past her prime jack wondered if she still had any customers at all. She shook her bum and tried her best at an alluring smile. Proving once and for all in jack's mind that she was done for as a fancy lady and didn't yet know it herself. He shook his head discouragingly, in a huff of tattered skirts the woman was off to proposition the next sailor.

Jack stared into the tiny flickering flames of the candles decorating the trees. Laid before him were years of Christmas' past, full of lonely drunken nights and angry hung over morning. So much regret and sorrow he had never known what to do with. He had an idea now, some spark of hope that this would be the Christmas that perhaps he could apologies for his wrong doings and maybe set things right. And if she didn't forgive him, if she wouldn't hear him out at all…well that would be fine to; he had a plan B.

Plan B consisted of downing four or five more bottles of rum, working out his anger in a bloody bar fight, and maybe finding his way into the arms of a woman more willing to listen to his _desires_. He had to at least try to do the right thing, it seemed every one else on his blasted ship was. Every last one of them was "home for the holidays" spending time with family jack hadn't known they had. He never thought much of them in any other form than cut throat pirates. Now suddenly they had families, with wives and kids and all. Who knew?

He looked again at the beautiful girl handing out mugs of ale. She had to be almost twenty, her eyes glittered even in this poor lighting. She smiled and flirted with the drunkards who hit on her shamelessly. Most of them were probably old enough to be her grandfather. Her long dark curls cascaded down the sweep of her back. She was thin, but not sickly, with perfectly rounded hips. No wonder all the men wanted her. A sweet young thing like that had no reason to even look a the pitiful old sea dog like himself.

Jack was so caught up in his self loathing he almost missed the brawl. Some drunken moron had spilled his drink into the lap of _the esteemed _captain Randolph and all hell broke lose. Furniture was flying, shots rang out, and the air filled with cussing. Jack had only taken a few swigs of hid rum, not nearly drunk enough to be any good in a fight. He kicked his feet up and watched as a man was thrown across the room. He looked back to where the girl should have been standing to find she was not there. Just like a woman to take cover during the good part.

there was a man standing atop the bar, the bloody idiot was singing, trying to keep in tune with the battle. He was shove with out warning off the counter and replaced by none other than the girl. Her lips were moving but jack couldn't hear her voice through the crowd. One by one the men stopped, their heads turned and watched in disbelief, as the girl sang Christmas carols in the middle of a fight. As the noise died down her voice rose and jack herd her beautiful voice ring clear and true across the hall.

"Mary, did you know that your Baby Boy Will one day rule the nations? Did you know that your Baby Boy Is Heaven's Perfect Lamb? This sleeping Child you're holding Is the Great I Am!" she had the most amazing voice, an angel amongst men. With nothing more than her god given talent this young woman had faced down a group of warring men and effectively stopped them in their tracks. She sang the song head held high to the very end. when she finished she stepped gracefully from her stage and with out a word resumed her post beside the keg.

The men crowded around her, tripping over each other in lame attempts to catch her eye. She laughed good naturedly and handed each man his mug. To jack's grate relief she showed no inclination to go home with any of these fools, they weren't good enough for her. Neither was he, he reminded himself bitterly. After that the night dragged on, men shamelessly flirted with the fancy women who flaunted their goods. Some staggered home to their wives and others left in search of more acceptable accommodations until there were just a few men left finishing up their drinks.

"having a happy Christmas captain?' a soft feminine voice asked from across his table. Jack looked up in shock. She was standing there, the chandler in the back made her glow. A perfect Christmas angel. "how was your trip?"

"long, dangerous, loan some." she nodded. "how have you been?"

"I was sad for a long time, I spent quite a few days crying. But I thought about what you said, about belonging. I think I understand now, I feel like I have found where I belong." jack looked startled. There was no way this precious gift from heaven belonged in a tavern.

"not here love, you don't belong here. I came to night to apologies. I was wrong about what I said, wrong about all of it. Please, give me a chance to explain." she was laughing at him!

"not here!"

"oh." he breathed a sigh of relief.

"I have found a place that makes me truly happy."

"that's wonderful…"

"can I show you?" jack's hart leapt. He could hardy believe she wanted to spend time with him. he had hoped to convince her to leave with him, but perhaps he wouldn't have to. He nodded.

"show me" he pretty face lit up with joy and she reached for his hand. Jack hadn't held hands much in his days, connecting with the kind of women he knew was fast and dirty, never soft and sweet. Her skin was pale and he left a dirty streak on he wrist with his thumb but she didn't seem to mind. She pulled him out the door with a wave to the bar keep.

Hand and hand they strolled down the unpaved street. She wasn't in any kind of hurry, content to be with him for a time. "I dreamed of us being like this you know." she told him. He nodded, he to had dreamed of her almost every night, imagined her happy and carefree. Her gentile smile told him she understood all the things he was thinking and didn't know how to say. Like how much more she deserved out of life. He owed her the world but had nothing to offer. She pulled him to a stop in front of a shabby three story building with a hand painted sign on the door.

Girl's orphanage

"here?" he raised his eyebrows in question.

"I spent most of my life here. All that time I wondered what was wrong with me, why I wasn't wanted. I needed to know who I was and where I fit in this world. Then I met you. I learned that what we want is not always what we need. There are so many girls here, who are scared and lone. If I leave with you, or any one else, sure I can find adventure, but I won't be doing no good." she grinned. Jack was baffled. Meeting him had shown her that she didn't need him?

she pulled him up the stairs onto a large wooden porch. "I used to sit on that swing and imagine I was on a ship rocking in the waves." she pointed to a large wooden swing. The front door led into a sitting room. Garland made by little hands decorated the walls. A large fir tree was covered in home made decorations and tiny candles took up most of the room. "every year we make hundreds of decorations and give them to perspective parents, trying to lure them in."

A small pink rocket zoomed down the stairs and launched into the girl's arms. Jack watched as she caught it with ease. "what are you doing up?" she demanded of the child. The little girl had huge brown eyes that shown with childhood magic when she looked at jack.

"Savvy, is that Santa clause?" the child asked in awe.

"no he's a pirate." Savvy told the child. "jack this is Lissy. Lissy this is captain Jack Sparrow, my dad." the child in her arms giggled and hid her face. "do you see why I have to stay here? She needs me."

"aye love, I get it." he took off his hat in a sweeping motion and bowed to the girls. "good bye to ye, ya beautiful angel." he turned on his heel and sauntered out the door. She didn't need him, she probably never had.

"merry Christmas dad." Savvy said to his back before closing the door and trekking up the stairs to tuck Lissy back into bed so Santa could come.

Merry Christmas to all of you!

I hope you enjoyed my little Christmas nonsense. If you really like it and enough ppl comment I do have more to this story. If not….that's ok to!


End file.
